Danielle Rose - New pics!
These were taken July 13, 2011. What a happy, artsy girl! She will fit right in!
One Less Starfish on the Beach - Danielle Rose Pan Xue
An invisible read thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. - Ancient Chinese Proverb
I have always loved this proverb. It has proven itself to be true in so many circumstances especially with adoption. I have met people from MI, AZ, Australia and Canada who have supported my journey and who I consider true friends. Facebook and the phone have been wonderful links. God always has a plan even as we try to control our own destiny. We make decisions and plans but they don't always work out the way we plan. God does answer prayers but not in the way we usually think he will. I took a break from looking at waiting child lists after withdrawing our application to adopt Jin Jin.
Then I went onto the Rainbow Kids website. I came across the description of a child I thought I had seen months before while still doing paperwork. She was with another agency. There was no picture. For some reason, I decided to pick up the phone and call and ask about her. I asked if she had been on the shared list before and the other agency told me that she had been on it and that they weren't able to place her with any of their families. She said that if I wanted to see her file then she would email it to me. I asked her to. I would recognize her smile anywhere! What a beautiful little princess! I had even shown her picture to Scott those months ago. He remembered her too. At the time I saw her before, we were still really waiting to be matched by our agency with our medical checklist that had minor/correctable special needs on it so I hadn't really reviewed her file. The lady at the other agency also told me that in 2 weeks she was traveling to her orphanage to assess other kids to try to find homes for them. She also had updated info and more pictures! I was thrilled! After a couple of weeks of educating ourselves about Spina Bifida and Scoliosis, we decided to lock in her file. We were in love! I feel that God led me back to Pan Xue and she was always suppossed to be our daughter. I wouldn't have had all the extra info and pictures and someone going to meet her months before. The other agency's info helped us be able to make an informed decision. There was so much more since she was on their individual list. The bonus was that the other agency was going to be able to meet her. I mailed a pkg. with gifts to Pan Xue along with a photo album of us. She is described as bright and witty and quite a little character. The lady that met her said Pan Xue came right up to her and started talking away even though she couldn't understand a word! I love it! I should travel around the end of August 2011 to adopt Danielle Rose Pan Xue! I am so lucky that my aunt has agreed to travel with me. She has been to China before and Scott can stay with our other children which will help out financially since costs have gone up for everything related to the adoption expenses. We feel so lucky to have found her and look forward to bringing her home! Please keep us and her in your prayers as she waits for us. The Red Thread never broke and we will meet our Danielle soon! Please continue to follow our journey! I will be posting with new developments.
The smile I never forgot and will never forget...
What a Happy Girl!
I have always loved this proverb. It has proven itself to be true in so many circumstances especially with adoption. I have met people from MI, AZ, Australia and Canada who have supported my journey and who I consider true friends. Facebook and the phone have been wonderful links. God always has a plan even as we try to control our own destiny. We make decisions and plans but they don't always work out the way we plan. God does answer prayers but not in the way we usually think he will. I took a break from looking at waiting child lists after withdrawing our application to adopt Jin Jin.
Then I went onto the Rainbow Kids website. I came across the description of a child I thought I had seen months before while still doing paperwork. She was with another agency. There was no picture. For some reason, I decided to pick up the phone and call and ask about her. I asked if she had been on the shared list before and the other agency told me that she had been on it and that they weren't able to place her with any of their families. She said that if I wanted to see her file then she would email it to me. I asked her to. I would recognize her smile anywhere! What a beautiful little princess! I had even shown her picture to Scott those months ago. He remembered her too. At the time I saw her before, we were still really waiting to be matched by our agency with our medical checklist that had minor/correctable special needs on it so I hadn't really reviewed her file. The lady at the other agency also told me that in 2 weeks she was traveling to her orphanage to assess other kids to try to find homes for them. She also had updated info and more pictures! I was thrilled! After a couple of weeks of educating ourselves about Spina Bifida and Scoliosis, we decided to lock in her file. We were in love! I feel that God led me back to Pan Xue and she was always suppossed to be our daughter. I wouldn't have had all the extra info and pictures and someone going to meet her months before. The other agency's info helped us be able to make an informed decision. There was so much more since she was on their individual list. The bonus was that the other agency was going to be able to meet her. I mailed a pkg. with gifts to Pan Xue along with a photo album of us. She is described as bright and witty and quite a little character. The lady that met her said Pan Xue came right up to her and started talking away even though she couldn't understand a word! I love it! I should travel around the end of August 2011 to adopt Danielle Rose Pan Xue! I am so lucky that my aunt has agreed to travel with me. She has been to China before and Scott can stay with our other children which will help out financially since costs have gone up for everything related to the adoption expenses. We feel so lucky to have found her and look forward to bringing her home! Please keep us and her in your prayers as she waits for us. The Red Thread never broke and we will meet our Danielle soon! Please continue to follow our journey! I will be posting with new developments.
The smile I never forgot and will never forget...
What a Happy Girl!
4-26-11
Beginning our last adoption journey
I worked like crazy to get that dossier finished. We began in June and my paperwork was in China on November 19, 2010! It has been 5 years since we finished our last adoption. That was for Korea. It has been since 2004 since we finished our last adoption to China. There is a big difference! I am obviously older and the Hague Convention came into being. The Hague involves A LOT of new rules and fees. Basically more work for adoptive parents on the paperwork end. There was already a lot. I have been a little surprised by all the changes. I fancied myself an expert but boy have I been wrong. I have had anxiety just like during our 1st adoption! I have sometimes felt that I am "too old for this!" but I have perservered because of course we are talking about paperwork and money when it comes to the life of a child. I have had to resolve to get a grip at times and re-focus on our new daughter. If only this is all I had to deal with for this adoption process.
I am going to tell you about our experience. This is one I haven't shared with too many people. After our paperwork was logged in China in November, we matched ourselves January 2011with a special baby I found on the shared list named Jin Jin. Her special need was "Mild CP". This was not on our medical checklist (you fill that out at the beginning of the adoption with special needs you feel your family can handle). We poured over her medical info and reports. We felt that we could handle her issue based on the reports. We thought for sure that she would do so much better with a family and so we were willing to take a leap of faith. I had sleepless nights, talked to more drs and other people and yahoo groups for opinions. I would feel peace and then I wouldn't. Our family loved her very much. I had pictures printed and put around the house. Then we got her CT report and some video. I was over the moon with those 3 short (11 sec each) videos! What a beautiful little one she was. I had a nagging feeling though about what she was not doing in those videos. I kept trying to push it aside. Then we got the call the end of March about China's letter of approval. Everyone wants that! That is when the travel arrangements and a lot more paperwork begin. Instead of being overjoyed, I was terrified. I knew that if we went and had to make a terrible decision in China not to adopt her that we really couldn't afford to start over. I called one last dr. and he said things really didn't look that good mentally or physically. I took the kids to school the next morning after talking with him. I came home and went to bed. I couldn't stand saying it out loud. Saying that we probably shouldn't let that travel ball start rolling. I talked with Scott. It was terrible! Then I called our agency. Not an easy call. I was scared! I had never had to do anything like that. Guilt, sadness, depression! I had them all! I was trying to make the best decision for our family and Jin Jin. I prayed for another family who could handle a more severe special need to adopt her. I have been inspired and amazed at the people who will adopt kids with severe special needs. I had to break the news to the kids. Kelli Ann and Brandon cried a little. It was like a death. It was a letdown. They were ready for their baby sister to come home. I would have gone to China in July 2011. A couple of weeks went by and my agency called to let me know that they noticed a request to remove Jin Jin totally from being able to be adopted. My rep. said that she then saw a paragraph in Chinese. She put it on Babblefish and read the terrible news that Jin Jin had died the day before. She called to let me know even though she wasn't sure that she should. What sadness and shock we had! I think she wanted me to know that I had gone with my gut feeling and that I had made the right decision a couple of weeks before. Still such heartbreak. I am convinced that God did hear my prayers and that he did take her to live with him. He gave her the best family possible and healed her. That is my comfort. I still think about her and love her. I will never forget her.
Jin Jin- Our baby angel.
I am going to tell you about our experience. This is one I haven't shared with too many people. After our paperwork was logged in China in November, we matched ourselves January 2011with a special baby I found on the shared list named Jin Jin. Her special need was "Mild CP". This was not on our medical checklist (you fill that out at the beginning of the adoption with special needs you feel your family can handle). We poured over her medical info and reports. We felt that we could handle her issue based on the reports. We thought for sure that she would do so much better with a family and so we were willing to take a leap of faith. I had sleepless nights, talked to more drs and other people and yahoo groups for opinions. I would feel peace and then I wouldn't. Our family loved her very much. I had pictures printed and put around the house. Then we got her CT report and some video. I was over the moon with those 3 short (11 sec each) videos! What a beautiful little one she was. I had a nagging feeling though about what she was not doing in those videos. I kept trying to push it aside. Then we got the call the end of March about China's letter of approval. Everyone wants that! That is when the travel arrangements and a lot more paperwork begin. Instead of being overjoyed, I was terrified. I knew that if we went and had to make a terrible decision in China not to adopt her that we really couldn't afford to start over. I called one last dr. and he said things really didn't look that good mentally or physically. I took the kids to school the next morning after talking with him. I came home and went to bed. I couldn't stand saying it out loud. Saying that we probably shouldn't let that travel ball start rolling. I talked with Scott. It was terrible! Then I called our agency. Not an easy call. I was scared! I had never had to do anything like that. Guilt, sadness, depression! I had them all! I was trying to make the best decision for our family and Jin Jin. I prayed for another family who could handle a more severe special need to adopt her. I have been inspired and amazed at the people who will adopt kids with severe special needs. I had to break the news to the kids. Kelli Ann and Brandon cried a little. It was like a death. It was a letdown. They were ready for their baby sister to come home. I would have gone to China in July 2011. A couple of weeks went by and my agency called to let me know that they noticed a request to remove Jin Jin totally from being able to be adopted. My rep. said that she then saw a paragraph in Chinese. She put it on Babblefish and read the terrible news that Jin Jin had died the day before. She called to let me know even though she wasn't sure that she should. What sadness and shock we had! I think she wanted me to know that I had gone with my gut feeling and that I had made the right decision a couple of weeks before. Still such heartbreak. I am convinced that God did hear my prayers and that he did take her to live with him. He gave her the best family possible and healed her. That is my comfort. I still think about her and love her. I will never forget her.
Jin Jin- Our baby angel.
"Future Daughter"
We all got settled into life with 4 kids. We were all happy when Scott retired from the USMC after 25 years in 2009. I had always wanted to adopt from the China Special Needs program but Scott said he was too old and finished. We all know what happened when he said he didn't like small dogs or cats don't we? Tee Hee I truly enjoy being a mother! It is the greatest joy and accomplishment of my life. All of our children are happy and healthy and enjoy school and all kinds of activities. They are kind and loving and get along "most" of the time:) That nagging feeling that we were not finished wouldn't go away. I asked God to make it go away if it wasn't meant to be. It wouldn't! I had a plastic tub in the basement that I labeled "future daughter" for the past 5 years. I put things in it that I am saving for her. For instance, I got all 5 Chinese Olympic Mascots during the Olympics and put the 5th one in the tub for her. I would constantly talk about "when we adopt our next daughter" and Scott would always respond "with your next husband". I even saved a tub of 2t and 4t dresses that I couldn't part with hoping that one day we would have a little daughter to wear them again. I actually gave them to a friend for the daughter she was in the process of adopting for Korea last year and then the day came that Scott gave the go ahead. I called her up and asked for them back! She was happy to give them back since her daughter was an infant and she was so happy that my last dream for another child would come true. What a friend! I was sitting in church one day in February 2010. The topic was human trafficking. I was in tears thinking about all the children (and adults) who are forced into that. I kept thinking about all the orphans in this world who will not have a chance after they age out of the orphanages. Scott and I talked about it and he said that we could adopt. Then we got our tax bill. That put a HUGE damper on it to begin in the Spring of 2010. I was quite depressed and not very easy to live with. I had already contacted an adoption agency and begun looking at the waiting child lists. This was all new to me since in the past, we were matched by our agency or China with our children. We could have just waited to be matched but I tortured myself for months looking on the internet at waiting children. I desperately wanted to begin our adoption so my friend (who I took the dresses back from) and I sold a lot of jewelry one day and I came up with enough to start. Then we had a couple of yard sales. I sold things on Ebay as well. I became obsessed with raising money. "Things" didn't matter anymore. I wanted to bring home a daughter who needed us and who would bless us. I continued to torture myself daily by going over waiting child lists. If you have ever done that then you know it can be very upsetting. I hoped I would see our "future daughter".
Monticello-April 2011
Monticello-April 2011
GA and Adopting Brandon
We closed on our house in LA on our 14th wedding anniversary Jan. 11, 2006 and drove to GA. It was funny to come home on our anniversary. My how things had changed since our wedding day! We had 3 kids, 3 dogs and 2 cats in tow! It was a relief to have been able to sell our house in LA after Katrina. We settled into our new home. Unfortunately, Scott was still not retired and he had to commute from New Orleans to finish out his tour of duty there and then he had to finish out 1 last tour of duty in Cherry Pt., NC. Funny how we came full circle with him commuting to see me in GA from Cherry Pt. just like when we 1st met. That ended up being 3 years of commuting home on wkds. Not easy but we were used to being apart after his tour in Iraq. It was worth it to get settled and out of the chaos in LA before our next beautiful boy came home! We had begun our adoption for Brandon in LA. I was sitting in a MOPS group at church when I got the call that he would arrive from S. Korea the next Tues. at Hartsfield International in Atlanta. He was going to arrive on May 9th! That is the same Gotcha Day as Kelli Ann in 2004! Wow! I was shocked! There was no way we could have planned that! What a great day that was! No glitches! We all put on our special shirts and drove to the airport to greet our new little family member. He was asleep when the escort handed him to me. He woke up soon after and never cried at all. He just looked at all of us with wonder in his eyes. We were in love once again! Of course, we were in love from the referral pictures of Brandon already! We came home and he smiled and laughed and crawled around his new room. Brandon was 7 months old when he arrived. We were once again blessed!
Atl. Airport after Brandon arrived.
Brandon's 1st few moments in his room.
Atl. Airport after Brandon arrived.
Brandon's 1st few moments in his room.
Moving to LA and Adopting Kelli Ann
The USMC always has plans so we moved to Mandeville March 2003. Scott took a position in New Orleans. Our move was a nightmare. My car wouldn't start at our 1st gas stop in N.C. The fuel pump decided to die! I had the dogs, cats, kids, fish and frogs in my car and Scott was towing his "baby" behind his truck. We had to leave my car and keep going after Scott re-configured our load which was a lot that wouldn't let the movers touch! Remember photo albums? Not the same security as digital. Those were albums from my whole life so they were in tubs that weighed hundreds of pounds. Lets don't forget the doll collection and other things no one wants movers to touch. We crammed into Scott's big truck. After a while we decided to off load his Impala (this was a 96 that he had drag raced in and it had a new engine:). We were in rush hour traffic in very hot weather in Charlotte and Scott called me to tell me to turn off the air for fear that it would hurt his new engine. That did NOT go over well! The sun was bearing down and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. We were only about 3 hours from GA where we would be stopping for the night and then poor Eric lost it! Unconsolable! We had to stop at a Motel and of course we couldn't leave all the stuff in the truck so Scott had to off load it all into a hotel room while me and the kids and pets stayed in another room. I am surprised we stayed married after that move! We laugh about this now but it was NOT SPECIAL! After a few days, we made our way to LA. The culture was totally different than any place we ever lived. Very interesting and VERY HOT! Neverthless, we made a home there and enjoyed all of the unique things LA has to offer. We had begun our adoption process for Kelli Ann back in VA. I traveled to China in May 2004. Kelli Ann was born in Guangdong Province, PRC. She was 15 months old on Gotcha Day May 9th which happened to be Mother's Day! What a great day that was! Kelli Ann was such a sweet little baby. She was a little stunned by it all. I promptly got out the cheerios and juice and she stopped crying. We got to stay in the White Swan the entire trip. It was a pleasant trip and not too stressful since there was no in-country travel. We toured around and saw the sights and got to know each other. We came home a week later. Lindsay and Eric were happy their mama was home and happy to see their new sister. Kelli Ann settled in very well. All was going well until...
Scott was deployed to Iraq August 2004 thru March 2005. Not fun! I learned a lot about myself during those 7 months ( I am not complaining because 7 months is nothing compared to so many service member's tours). During that time, Ivan was coming and we had to evacuate to MS. After he came home, we had many evacuations up to Katrina. We were lucky. Our house wasn't destroyed and I decided it was time to move since we had begun our 4th adoption. I couldn't take it anymore! ha ha Katrina was so shocking. If you didn't live there, you couldn't understand the magnitude of the devastation and ripple effects even by seeing it on TV. It was the saddest, scariest thing I have ever been thru. We did have to deal with 9-11 and the Sniper back in VA but this was the worst! I decided that we were being followed by disasters after dealing with all of that. Luckily, we sold our home and moved to GA in January 2006. It was good to be home!
The moment Kelli Ann was put in my arms.
The morning Scott was picked up to leave for Iraq.
Scott was deployed to Iraq August 2004 thru March 2005. Not fun! I learned a lot about myself during those 7 months ( I am not complaining because 7 months is nothing compared to so many service member's tours). During that time, Ivan was coming and we had to evacuate to MS. After he came home, we had many evacuations up to Katrina. We were lucky. Our house wasn't destroyed and I decided it was time to move since we had begun our 4th adoption. I couldn't take it anymore! ha ha Katrina was so shocking. If you didn't live there, you couldn't understand the magnitude of the devastation and ripple effects even by seeing it on TV. It was the saddest, scariest thing I have ever been thru. We did have to deal with 9-11 and the Sniper back in VA but this was the worst! I decided that we were being followed by disasters after dealing with all of that. Luckily, we sold our home and moved to GA in January 2006. It was good to be home!
The moment Kelli Ann was put in my arms.
The morning Scott was picked up to leave for Iraq.
Finding China
Then we moved to VA. Scott had 2 tours of duty there, Pentagon and Quantico. This is where life became interesting! We began the process of our first adoption for Lindsay June 1999. In February of 2000, we took a little trip back up to see friends in PA. We were in a terrible accident on the PA turnpike. Luckily the only real injury to my neck was bad whiplash but my poor 3 week old car had a lot of damage. I was pretty upset and depressed! Then I had a really neat thing happen to get me out of that bad place!
On February 19, 2000 I was on my way to a hair appointment in Fredericksburg. As I was driving along, I saw a car going in the opposite direction of a busy highway skid to a stop. I looked in horror as a small white dog hunched over bracing to be hit. The dog did make it across to the other side. I immediately made a U-turn (my heart took over) and headed back to where that accident almost occurred. I pulled over and got out of the car and called out "come here baby". Any other dog I have ever tried to get like that has run away. This dog came to me so submissively and let me pick it up. I put it in the car. It sat in the back seat so calmly. I couldn't tell what kind of dog it was and didn't know the sex. The dog was absolutely filthy with twigs and leaves. My heart was racing and I drove down a little side street to turn back around. I saw two elderly couples and asked them about the dog since it had a collar but no tag. They pointed to a rock house on the main highway and said they thought it belonged there. I drove to that house and parked in the driveway. I walked up stairs to the front door and knocked. A guy came to the door and I asked if that dog was his (while I pointed to the car). He said "Yea, a white poodle." I was angry because it looked so bad. I said, "Your dog almost got hit by a car and looks like it never had a bath!" Then I asked, "Do you want the dog?" He said "No" in a very calm voice. He probably thought I was nuts! I got back in the car and then I thought to get the dog’s name. I ran back up the stairs and knocked again. He came back out and I asked her name. He said, "It is a girl and her name is China." Right then, I almost fell off of his step because my husband and I were in the process of waiting for our first daughter from China! I didn't say anything to him. I just got in my car and drove away. I was kind of shaking and thrilled and worried all at the same time. I was worried that my husband was going to kill me! We already had 2 cats and a Chihuahua named Phil. I had talked to my husband about getting another dog so Phil wouldn't be so upset about the new baby (he was my big baby at 5 1/2 lbs!). Of course, my husband said “NO!”
On February 19, 2000 I was on my way to a hair appointment in Fredericksburg. As I was driving along, I saw a car going in the opposite direction of a busy highway skid to a stop. I looked in horror as a small white dog hunched over bracing to be hit. The dog did make it across to the other side. I immediately made a U-turn (my heart took over) and headed back to where that accident almost occurred. I pulled over and got out of the car and called out "come here baby". Any other dog I have ever tried to get like that has run away. This dog came to me so submissively and let me pick it up. I put it in the car. It sat in the back seat so calmly. I couldn't tell what kind of dog it was and didn't know the sex. The dog was absolutely filthy with twigs and leaves. My heart was racing and I drove down a little side street to turn back around. I saw two elderly couples and asked them about the dog since it had a collar but no tag. They pointed to a rock house on the main highway and said they thought it belonged there. I drove to that house and parked in the driveway. I walked up stairs to the front door and knocked. A guy came to the door and I asked if that dog was his (while I pointed to the car). He said "Yea, a white poodle." I was angry because it looked so bad. I said, "Your dog almost got hit by a car and looks like it never had a bath!" Then I asked, "Do you want the dog?" He said "No" in a very calm voice. He probably thought I was nuts! I got back in the car and then I thought to get the dog’s name. I ran back up the stairs and knocked again. He came back out and I asked her name. He said, "It is a girl and her name is China." Right then, I almost fell off of his step because my husband and I were in the process of waiting for our first daughter from China! I didn't say anything to him. I just got in my car and drove away. I was kind of shaking and thrilled and worried all at the same time. I was worried that my husband was going to kill me! We already had 2 cats and a Chihuahua named Phil. I had talked to my husband about getting another dog so Phil wouldn't be so upset about the new baby (he was my big baby at 5 1/2 lbs!). Of course, my husband said “NO!”
I went on to the hairdresser (late of course!) and told him that I had a dog in the car and that we would have to get together later. I told him the story and he almost fell over too! I have never had to have a dog groomed so they told me to go to PetSmart. China and I went there and I told them the whole story. They said dogs have to have updated shots etc. before getting groomed. They fit me in and did a heartworm test and I sat and prayed that it would be negative and it was. We proceeded with all the shots and they had to cut a huge piece of matted fur from next to her eye. She was in pitiful shape! I didn’t know that she was a poodle because her face was fully grown out. China was a so passive and she let everyone handle her and give her shots with not one growl. I knew that she desperately needed to be groomed and shaved down before I could bring her home to my other pets. PetSmart was booked since it was Saturday. The VetSmart people called all around giving my sob story to groomers in the phone book to try and get someone to help me. It was late on Saturday afternoon and none could. After a few minutes, one called back. She was a new vet and her groomer had already left for the day. She said to send us over and she would try to help. We went to see her and she bathed China and shaved off her coat as best she could. It was like shearing a lamb. The vet, just like people at PetSmart, told me that if my husband freaked out that they would all take her. China was just that wonderful even after all she had been through before and that day. I knew that China was meant to be my dog and that there was no way I could give her to anyone! I am convinced God put China in my path and the fact that her name was China when I found her still stuns me to this day when I really think about it.
After all that, while driving home, it hit me that my other four-legged children might not accept China. Phil, my Chihuahua, had been my baby for 7 years and Oreo and Rush, my cats, didn’t like other dogs at all. I was so inspired by finding China while waiting for my daughter from China that I began writing a story. The end result is my book Accepting China. I never planned on writing a story so I self-published and have sold it to raise money for orphans. My great friend, Amber, painted the pictures for my story. I mailed real photos of our pets to her in GA from VA. My kids still love this story. All of the characters have passed on now. We will never forget them. They were our "babies" before kids. So much for Scott not wanting cats or small dogs! What a man!
This is the last picture I ever took of China before she died in March 2008.
This is the last picture I ever took of China before she died in March 2008.
| Description of Accepting China from Back cover | ||
Have you ever wondered what your pets are thinking? Well, I have a pretty good idea of what mine thought the day I brought home a poodle named China to join our family. This story is about a family of pets coping with a new family member. Phil, Oreo and Rush were just as surprised by the unexpected addition to our family as I was when I rescued China from a busy highway. Accepting China is a fictional account of true events as seen through the eyes of my Chihuahua, Phil. The story is intended to parallel the thoughts and feelings that children have when a new baby or child comes into their family. Oreo, Phil, Rush and China are real brothers and sisters. They add a new twist to a situation that most children experience; either through birth or adoption. Finding China in February 2000 and the adoption of my daughter from China in November 2000 was the inspiration for this story. I am an adoptive mother of a daughter from China and a son from Korea. My husband and I are in the process of adopting another daughter from China and plan to adopt a second son from Korea in the future. Being a mother is the most joyful, challenging responsibility I’ve ever known. I look forward to all of the events we have yet to experience as an adoptive family. |
Adopting Lindsay and Eric in VA
We looked on the internet for an adoption agency and found CCAI. They only had the CO office in 1999. I called a few people in VA who had used them from their reference list. We met a really nice couple with one daughter from China who had used CCAI and they invited us to their potluck dinner for people who had adopted from China and who were in the process. Scott and I loved seeing all those cuties running around! I was working at the time and it seemed like an eternity until I would be a mother! I was dying to be a stay at home mom! We got the call in August 2000 to inform us about Le Pin! CCAI called me at the bank where I worked and I started crying! That was before all the computerized info so I had to wait for them to mail pictures. What a gorgeous little doll she was and still is! Lindsay was born in Jiangxi Province, PRC. She was almost 1 year old on Gotcha Day Nov. 9, 2000. What a wonderful journey to her. We traveled with quite a few other people. Around 30 in the group from all over the country. What special memories of having Lindsay handed to us. I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off when we got to the room because she started crying and of course I had never made a bottle. By the time our guide helped me with that, she was asleep. She slept all night and then sucked down 2 full bottles the next morning! Lindsay bonded right to us! She smiled and giggled a lot. We were in Love! We came home to the US to California to my friend's house on Thanksgiving Day! We were drunk with jet lag but had a good and very meaningful Thanksgiving. We flew to VA the next day. Boy! It was good to be home!
We knew while we were on the plane to adopt Lindsay that we would adopt again. In March of 2001 I was in the Drs office with Lindsay for a checkup. A pharmaceutical rep came in and saw us. She said that she was about to go and see a picture of her new daughter from Korea at her agency. I asked her when she began her adoption and she said January! I had to hear about that! She told me about her agency and I called them. We had to wait until Lindsay was home for 1 year to begin another adoption. We began our adoption for Eric in November 2001. The paperwork was a breeze! Very different than China. Anyway, I got a call in March to let me know we were matched with a son! Then he was escorted home to us in June! Wow! It only took 8 months! Eric was almost 5 months old when he arrived. What an adorable baby! His escort was from the US and Eric was his 3 baby to escort home. He actually cried when he handed Eric to us. The day before we were literally on the way out the door with diaperbag in hand when our agency called to say bad storms had caused Eric's plane to be diverted to MN. I was upset wondering how Eric was and if this man could take care of him! I spoke to the escort in their hotel room and he assured me that Eric was ok. We had to wait until the next day and that is how Eric's escort had become attatched so quickly. It is amazing just how quickly we can become attatched to a picture so I can understand spending a couple of days with a baby and how you would fall in love. Of course, we were all in Love immediately! Eric was such a good baby! Lindsay immediately tried to mother him and feed him. So cute! We were a family of four but we knew there would be more!
The moment Lindsay was placed in our arms.
Just after Eric arrived at Washington Reagan Int'l Airport.
Moving with the USMC to PA!
Scott and I had a good 1st year of marriage in Atlanta. We adopted our 1st "baby" - a special kitty named Oreo. We got her when we were married about 6 months from my dear friend Kathy. Kathy called me one day out of desperation to find her a home. Kathy had brought her home from a neighbor's yard sale and her husband's cat, Pewter, did NOT like it! Scott had told me that he didn't like cats or small dogs but here we go.... Oreo was such a fun cat! She was my 1st cat. She fetched ice cubes and chased me down the hall of our apt. Scott had gotten out of the USMC but decided to get back in! January of 1993 after a year of marriage, we were off to PA. Oreo howled the entire 16 hours in the car! Not fun holding a screaching cat while trying to go thru a PA turnpike toll booth! What an experience moving from GA to PA! I tried to communicate with a waitress who looked like Flo from the show "Alice" in South Philly at the Melrose Diner shortly after arriving and we could not understand each other! It was hilarious! Our second "baby" was Phil the Chihuahua from Philly! I wanted to get a friend for Oreo but Scott said no to another cat, SOOOOOO, we drove thru a scary part of Philly under railways, barrels burning on the side of the road to get our little man. And, he was LITTLE! I was scared to hold him. He was like a big rat! Love at 1st sight! Poor Scott! I decided that Oreo needed a friend when we took Phil places so we ended up getting what started out as a tiny farm cat and who turned out to be a 20 pounder! We named him Rush which is a name he grew into for Rush Limbaugh. And we weren't done with pets yet! We moved to VA in 1998.
Oreo and Phil always loved each other.
Rush
Oreo and Phil always loved each other.
Rush
Looking for a Few Good Men (Or Just ONE!)
Of course, no 20 something is guy wants to discuss having a baby much less adoption:) During those wonderful (sometimes and sometimes NOT!) dating years while in college and after, I would bring up adoption to a guy who possibly, might be the one (my friends like to say I said they were all "the one"). I am sure I know what was going thru their minds. Probably, a little less talk and a lot more action at that age! No baby talk at all please! Well, I went thru my share of duds, idiots and weirdos etc.. I had diverse taste in men! ha ha A few nice guys were thrown in the mix but few and far between.
North GA College was a great place to go to college. It was small and it offers ROTC for people to commission as officers in the Army after graduation. I think most of the boys that went there were probably (possibly?) more mature than most college boys because they planned to have a career in the military after college. Ok, maybe I stretched it with that comment. It was a great experience for me in meeting two of my lifelong friends and to learn more about our country's history and the military. I was enlightened at an early age about the commitment of our servicemembers to our country. I learned to respect men and women in uniform and to respect what our military does for people all over the world.
After college, I lived with a roomie who was dating a NGC alumni who had gone into the Marine Corps. He was a part of Desert Storm in the early 90's. One day, my roommate told me that he was coming home and that he was going to drive to Atlanta from Cherry Point where he was stationed and bring his roommate. They wanted to know if we could meet them at Good Old Days in Buckhead along with some other NGC alumni. It wasn't officially a blind date for me so I thought it would be fun! Heck! I was single and ready to party:) When we arrived at Good Old Days, we were with a big group of people. That was April 5, 1991. We were catching up with old friends while sitting around a big table. Little did I know, but the roommate I was suppossed to meet was sitting next to me. No one had ever introduced us. We started talking and realized we were the roomies who were suppossed to meet that night!
His name was Scott Ballard. He wasn't feeling that well due to partying in Athens at a Naval school the last 2 weeks. He was just kind of sitting there quietly sipping a beer. Wasn't he lucky to be seated next to me? We had an instant connection. We both worked at grocery stores thru high school and college (both around 6 1/2 years). We had both grown up as Methodists. We just seemed to have the same thoughts on many things. Don't worry! I didn't spring the adoption thing on him that night! We were suppossed to get together the next day but it never happened. I was disappointed because we didn't hear from them all day. That night, the phone rang and it was Scott. He remembered my last name and while out partying with the guys he found a pay phone and called me! He had to leave to Cherry Point the next afternoon so he called to see about getting together before he made the long drive back in his red, rough 1966 Impala. Sunday afternoon, he stopped by and we talked some more. I didn't know him well, but I hated to see him go. The very next Friday I got a card in the mail and in it he had written that he had told his grandmother about me! Wow! I was surprised but knew something special was going on. About 2 weeks after that, my roomie and I drove to Cherry Pt. NC to visit Scott and his roomie for a few days. That is not an easy drive for two 20 something gals who have never driven that far before! That cinched it! We were in love! Scott came to visit me in Atlanta every Friday after that just for the wkd! He was dedicated or desperate! Not sure which! ha ha I hosted a birthday party for him on June 15th for his bday on the 16th. My dad even came and a lot of friends who wanted to see this guy who they had heard so much about. That night Scott and I were on the deck alone. All of a sudden, he said "Do you want to get married?" I was pretty taken aback since this was June 15th and we met April 15th. I think we had seen each other in person maybe 10 days! It was crazy but I said yes and it was our little secret while people were still inside at the party. The next day, I was pretty nervous about telling anyone since we hadn't known each other that long. I really dreaded telling my dad since he had only met Scott a couple of times. My dad respected Scott and didn't freak out which was good! My friends, on the other hand, thought I was nuts! We were married on January 11, 1992- Just 9 months after we met! Hey! It was a good time to get married- my lease on my apartment ran out the end of Dec. 1991! How romantic! We will celebrate our 20th anniversary Jan. 2012 and YES, he ageed to adoption a long time ago! He made my dream his dream and more! Aren't I lucky?!
North GA College was a great place to go to college. It was small and it offers ROTC for people to commission as officers in the Army after graduation. I think most of the boys that went there were probably (possibly?) more mature than most college boys because they planned to have a career in the military after college. Ok, maybe I stretched it with that comment. It was a great experience for me in meeting two of my lifelong friends and to learn more about our country's history and the military. I was enlightened at an early age about the commitment of our servicemembers to our country. I learned to respect men and women in uniform and to respect what our military does for people all over the world.
After college, I lived with a roomie who was dating a NGC alumni who had gone into the Marine Corps. He was a part of Desert Storm in the early 90's. One day, my roommate told me that he was coming home and that he was going to drive to Atlanta from Cherry Point where he was stationed and bring his roommate. They wanted to know if we could meet them at Good Old Days in Buckhead along with some other NGC alumni. It wasn't officially a blind date for me so I thought it would be fun! Heck! I was single and ready to party:) When we arrived at Good Old Days, we were with a big group of people. That was April 5, 1991. We were catching up with old friends while sitting around a big table. Little did I know, but the roommate I was suppossed to meet was sitting next to me. No one had ever introduced us. We started talking and realized we were the roomies who were suppossed to meet that night!
His name was Scott Ballard. He wasn't feeling that well due to partying in Athens at a Naval school the last 2 weeks. He was just kind of sitting there quietly sipping a beer. Wasn't he lucky to be seated next to me? We had an instant connection. We both worked at grocery stores thru high school and college (both around 6 1/2 years). We had both grown up as Methodists. We just seemed to have the same thoughts on many things. Don't worry! I didn't spring the adoption thing on him that night! We were suppossed to get together the next day but it never happened. I was disappointed because we didn't hear from them all day. That night, the phone rang and it was Scott. He remembered my last name and while out partying with the guys he found a pay phone and called me! He had to leave to Cherry Point the next afternoon so he called to see about getting together before he made the long drive back in his red, rough 1966 Impala. Sunday afternoon, he stopped by and we talked some more. I didn't know him well, but I hated to see him go. The very next Friday I got a card in the mail and in it he had written that he had told his grandmother about me! Wow! I was surprised but knew something special was going on. About 2 weeks after that, my roomie and I drove to Cherry Pt. NC to visit Scott and his roomie for a few days. That is not an easy drive for two 20 something gals who have never driven that far before! That cinched it! We were in love! Scott came to visit me in Atlanta every Friday after that just for the wkd! He was dedicated or desperate! Not sure which! ha ha I hosted a birthday party for him on June 15th for his bday on the 16th. My dad even came and a lot of friends who wanted to see this guy who they had heard so much about. That night Scott and I were on the deck alone. All of a sudden, he said "Do you want to get married?" I was pretty taken aback since this was June 15th and we met April 15th. I think we had seen each other in person maybe 10 days! It was crazy but I said yes and it was our little secret while people were still inside at the party. The next day, I was pretty nervous about telling anyone since we hadn't known each other that long. I really dreaded telling my dad since he had only met Scott a couple of times. My dad respected Scott and didn't freak out which was good! My friends, on the other hand, thought I was nuts! We were married on January 11, 1992- Just 9 months after we met! Hey! It was a good time to get married- my lease on my apartment ran out the end of Dec. 1991! How romantic! We will celebrate our 20th anniversary Jan. 2012 and YES, he ageed to adoption a long time ago! He made my dream his dream and more! Aren't I lucky?!
Sign, Sign Everywhere a Sign
When I was growing up in Gainesville, GA in the 1970s/80s we had 3 families in our church who had adopted internationally. One family had 3 bio kids and adopted a little girl from Vietnam. Another family had 3 bio kids and adopted a little girl from Peru. The last family who already had 4 bio kids adopted 2 children from S. Korea. Well, that made an impression on me. I have always thought how neat that was to be exposed to international adoption during that time frame in a town in the South. My dad was Egyptian (d. 2002). He came to Georgia Tech from Cairo to get his Masters Degree in the early 60's and met my mom from Carrollton in Atlanta where she was working. What a combination! Anyway, being from a culturally diverse family and witnessing adoption definitely had a big influence on my life.
Then in 1980 at the age of 14 I read an article about the one child policy being enforced in China and the ramifications of that to little girls. I believe this was the defining moment for my decision to adopt from China at such an early age. I could have sworn it was in a Parade magazine because I can still see the 2 page layout in my mind. I called them a few years ago and they couldn't find anything about that in their archives. Well, anyway, I saw pictures of 4 women holding infant Chinese girls in that article. I was smitten!
I have to mention that I collected dolls that my dad brought me from his trips abroad. I loved and still love dolls! My favorite was a little doll (which I still have) from the HoneyHill Bunch Play set. That dates me! Anyone out there remember that? She is the Chinese doll with big glasses and a book and her name is IQ. Stereotypical, huh? Through the years I was always drawn to Asian dolls and artwork. Funny since I'm 1/2 Egyptian!
God obviously had a set path for my life early on and put many signs in my way. I am so glad he did!
Then in 1980 at the age of 14 I read an article about the one child policy being enforced in China and the ramifications of that to little girls. I believe this was the defining moment for my decision to adopt from China at such an early age. I could have sworn it was in a Parade magazine because I can still see the 2 page layout in my mind. I called them a few years ago and they couldn't find anything about that in their archives. Well, anyway, I saw pictures of 4 women holding infant Chinese girls in that article. I was smitten!
I have to mention that I collected dolls that my dad brought me from his trips abroad. I loved and still love dolls! My favorite was a little doll (which I still have) from the HoneyHill Bunch Play set. That dates me! Anyone out there remember that? She is the Chinese doll with big glasses and a book and her name is IQ. Stereotypical, huh? Through the years I was always drawn to Asian dolls and artwork. Funny since I'm 1/2 Egyptian!
God obviously had a set path for my life early on and put many signs in my way. I am so glad he did!
"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12.
“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” ~ Ecclesiastes 1:18
