Danielle's 3rd Birthday Party July 19, 2011
Travel Approval July 18, 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!
We got a call from our agency yesterday July 18th! We were all surprised and
happy that it came before the August 1st deadline for new rules. It is a 3 fold
blessing! If the consulate appt. is approved for Aug. 23rd then my aunt and I
will travel Aug. 11th! It came sooner than we expected since I got the letter
from the Nat'l Visa Ctr. on June 11th stating they forwarded our info to the
Consulate. We get Danielle sooner than expected and I get $900 back for the
post-placement visits! That will come in handy for our trip. We will just have
to have the 2 original 6 and 12 month visits now which is what I have always had
with my other kiddos. Today Danielle is 3 years old! I sent her a pkg thru red
thread so I hope she had a nice party (while we were sleeping!). I wish we
could have been with her for that but soon, very soon, we will have a big
birthday bash to welcome her home! My birthday is August 14th so I should have
her in my arms on the 13th. That is the greatest 45th birthday gift I could ask
for! Some people get surgery at my age to tweak some parts but I am getting a
baby! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I feel better now:)
happy that it came before the August 1st deadline for new rules. It is a 3 fold
blessing! If the consulate appt. is approved for Aug. 23rd then my aunt and I
will travel Aug. 11th! It came sooner than we expected since I got the letter
from the Nat'l Visa Ctr. on June 11th stating they forwarded our info to the
Consulate. We get Danielle sooner than expected and I get $900 back for the
post-placement visits! That will come in handy for our trip. We will just have
to have the 2 original 6 and 12 month visits now which is what I have always had
with my other kiddos. Today Danielle is 3 years old! I sent her a pkg thru red
thread so I hope she had a nice party (while we were sleeping!). I wish we
could have been with her for that but soon, very soon, we will have a big
birthday bash to welcome her home! My birthday is August 14th so I should have
her in my arms on the 13th. That is the greatest 45th birthday gift I could ask
for! Some people get surgery at my age to tweak some parts but I am getting a
baby! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I feel better now:)
Waiting....... for TA
Father's Day 2011
Danielle Rose - New pics!
These were taken July 13, 2011. What a happy, artsy girl! She will fit right in!
One Less Starfish on the Beach - Danielle Rose Pan Xue
An invisible read thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. - Ancient Chinese Proverb
I have always loved this proverb. It has proven itself to be true in so many circumstances especially with adoption. I have met people from MI, AZ, Australia and Canada who have supported my journey and who I consider true friends. Facebook and the phone have been wonderful links. God always has a plan even as we try to control our own destiny. We make decisions and plans but they don't always work out the way we plan. God does answer prayers but not in the way we usually think he will. I took a break from looking at waiting child lists after withdrawing our application to adopt Jin Jin.
Then I went onto the Rainbow Kids website. I came across the description of a child I thought I had seen months before while still doing paperwork. She was with another agency. There was no picture. For some reason, I decided to pick up the phone and call and ask about her. I asked if she had been on the shared list before and the other agency told me that she had been on it and that they weren't able to place her with any of their families. She said that if I wanted to see her file then she would email it to me. I asked her to. I would recognize her smile anywhere! What a beautiful little princess! I had even shown her picture to Scott those months ago. He remembered her too. At the time I saw her before, we were still really waiting to be matched by our agency with our medical checklist that had minor/correctable special needs on it so I hadn't really reviewed her file. The lady at the other agency also told me that in 2 weeks she was traveling to her orphanage to assess other kids to try to find homes for them. She also had updated info and more pictures! I was thrilled! After a couple of weeks of educating ourselves about Spina Bifida and Scoliosis, we decided to lock in her file. We were in love! I feel that God led me back to Pan Xue and she was always suppossed to be our daughter. I wouldn't have had all the extra info and pictures and someone going to meet her months before. The other agency's info helped us be able to make an informed decision. There was so much more since she was on their individual list. The bonus was that the other agency was going to be able to meet her. I mailed a pkg. with gifts to Pan Xue along with a photo album of us. She is described as bright and witty and quite a little character. The lady that met her said Pan Xue came right up to her and started talking away even though she couldn't understand a word! I love it! I should travel around the end of August 2011 to adopt Danielle Rose Pan Xue! I am so lucky that my aunt has agreed to travel with me. She has been to China before and Scott can stay with our other children which will help out financially since costs have gone up for everything related to the adoption expenses. We feel so lucky to have found her and look forward to bringing her home! Please keep us and her in your prayers as she waits for us. The Red Thread never broke and we will meet our Danielle soon! Please continue to follow our journey! I will be posting with new developments.
The smile I never forgot and will never forget...
What a Happy Girl!
I have always loved this proverb. It has proven itself to be true in so many circumstances especially with adoption. I have met people from MI, AZ, Australia and Canada who have supported my journey and who I consider true friends. Facebook and the phone have been wonderful links. God always has a plan even as we try to control our own destiny. We make decisions and plans but they don't always work out the way we plan. God does answer prayers but not in the way we usually think he will. I took a break from looking at waiting child lists after withdrawing our application to adopt Jin Jin.
Then I went onto the Rainbow Kids website. I came across the description of a child I thought I had seen months before while still doing paperwork. She was with another agency. There was no picture. For some reason, I decided to pick up the phone and call and ask about her. I asked if she had been on the shared list before and the other agency told me that she had been on it and that they weren't able to place her with any of their families. She said that if I wanted to see her file then she would email it to me. I asked her to. I would recognize her smile anywhere! What a beautiful little princess! I had even shown her picture to Scott those months ago. He remembered her too. At the time I saw her before, we were still really waiting to be matched by our agency with our medical checklist that had minor/correctable special needs on it so I hadn't really reviewed her file. The lady at the other agency also told me that in 2 weeks she was traveling to her orphanage to assess other kids to try to find homes for them. She also had updated info and more pictures! I was thrilled! After a couple of weeks of educating ourselves about Spina Bifida and Scoliosis, we decided to lock in her file. We were in love! I feel that God led me back to Pan Xue and she was always suppossed to be our daughter. I wouldn't have had all the extra info and pictures and someone going to meet her months before. The other agency's info helped us be able to make an informed decision. There was so much more since she was on their individual list. The bonus was that the other agency was going to be able to meet her. I mailed a pkg. with gifts to Pan Xue along with a photo album of us. She is described as bright and witty and quite a little character. The lady that met her said Pan Xue came right up to her and started talking away even though she couldn't understand a word! I love it! I should travel around the end of August 2011 to adopt Danielle Rose Pan Xue! I am so lucky that my aunt has agreed to travel with me. She has been to China before and Scott can stay with our other children which will help out financially since costs have gone up for everything related to the adoption expenses. We feel so lucky to have found her and look forward to bringing her home! Please keep us and her in your prayers as she waits for us. The Red Thread never broke and we will meet our Danielle soon! Please continue to follow our journey! I will be posting with new developments.
The smile I never forgot and will never forget...
What a Happy Girl!
4-26-11
Beginning our last adoption journey
I worked like crazy to get that dossier finished. We began in June and my paperwork was in China on November 19, 2010! It has been 5 years since we finished our last adoption. That was for Korea. It has been since 2004 since we finished our last adoption to China. There is a big difference! I am obviously older and the Hague Convention came into being. The Hague involves A LOT of new rules and fees. Basically more work for adoptive parents on the paperwork end. There was already a lot. I have been a little surprised by all the changes. I fancied myself an expert but boy have I been wrong. I have had anxiety just like during our 1st adoption! I have sometimes felt that I am "too old for this!" but I have perservered because of course we are talking about paperwork and money when it comes to the life of a child. I have had to resolve to get a grip at times and re-focus on our new daughter. If only this is all I had to deal with for this adoption process.
I am going to tell you about our experience. This is one I haven't shared with too many people. After our paperwork was logged in China in November, we matched ourselves January 2011with a special baby I found on the shared list named Jin Jin. Her special need was "Mild CP". This was not on our medical checklist (you fill that out at the beginning of the adoption with special needs you feel your family can handle). We poured over her medical info and reports. We felt that we could handle her issue based on the reports. We thought for sure that she would do so much better with a family and so we were willing to take a leap of faith. I had sleepless nights, talked to more drs and other people and yahoo groups for opinions. I would feel peace and then I wouldn't. Our family loved her very much. I had pictures printed and put around the house. Then we got her CT report and some video. I was over the moon with those 3 short (11 sec each) videos! What a beautiful little one she was. I had a nagging feeling though about what she was not doing in those videos. I kept trying to push it aside. Then we got the call the end of March about China's letter of approval. Everyone wants that! That is when the travel arrangements and a lot more paperwork begin. Instead of being overjoyed, I was terrified. I knew that if we went and had to make a terrible decision in China not to adopt her that we really couldn't afford to start over. I called one last dr. and he said things really didn't look that good mentally or physically. I took the kids to school the next morning after talking with him. I came home and went to bed. I couldn't stand saying it out loud. Saying that we probably shouldn't let that travel ball start rolling. I talked with Scott. It was terrible! Then I called our agency. Not an easy call. I was scared! I had never had to do anything like that. Guilt, sadness, depression! I had them all! I was trying to make the best decision for our family and Jin Jin. I prayed for another family who could handle a more severe special need to adopt her. I have been inspired and amazed at the people who will adopt kids with severe special needs. I had to break the news to the kids. Kelli Ann and Brandon cried a little. It was like a death. It was a letdown. They were ready for their baby sister to come home. I would have gone to China in July 2011. A couple of weeks went by and my agency called to let me know that they noticed a request to remove Jin Jin totally from being able to be adopted. My rep. said that she then saw a paragraph in Chinese. She put it on Babblefish and read the terrible news that Jin Jin had died the day before. She called to let me know even though she wasn't sure that she should. What sadness and shock we had! I think she wanted me to know that I had gone with my gut feeling and that I had made the right decision a couple of weeks before. Still such heartbreak. I am convinced that God did hear my prayers and that he did take her to live with him. He gave her the best family possible and healed her. That is my comfort. I still think about her and love her. I will never forget her.
Jin Jin- Our baby angel.
I am going to tell you about our experience. This is one I haven't shared with too many people. After our paperwork was logged in China in November, we matched ourselves January 2011with a special baby I found on the shared list named Jin Jin. Her special need was "Mild CP". This was not on our medical checklist (you fill that out at the beginning of the adoption with special needs you feel your family can handle). We poured over her medical info and reports. We felt that we could handle her issue based on the reports. We thought for sure that she would do so much better with a family and so we were willing to take a leap of faith. I had sleepless nights, talked to more drs and other people and yahoo groups for opinions. I would feel peace and then I wouldn't. Our family loved her very much. I had pictures printed and put around the house. Then we got her CT report and some video. I was over the moon with those 3 short (11 sec each) videos! What a beautiful little one she was. I had a nagging feeling though about what she was not doing in those videos. I kept trying to push it aside. Then we got the call the end of March about China's letter of approval. Everyone wants that! That is when the travel arrangements and a lot more paperwork begin. Instead of being overjoyed, I was terrified. I knew that if we went and had to make a terrible decision in China not to adopt her that we really couldn't afford to start over. I called one last dr. and he said things really didn't look that good mentally or physically. I took the kids to school the next morning after talking with him. I came home and went to bed. I couldn't stand saying it out loud. Saying that we probably shouldn't let that travel ball start rolling. I talked with Scott. It was terrible! Then I called our agency. Not an easy call. I was scared! I had never had to do anything like that. Guilt, sadness, depression! I had them all! I was trying to make the best decision for our family and Jin Jin. I prayed for another family who could handle a more severe special need to adopt her. I have been inspired and amazed at the people who will adopt kids with severe special needs. I had to break the news to the kids. Kelli Ann and Brandon cried a little. It was like a death. It was a letdown. They were ready for their baby sister to come home. I would have gone to China in July 2011. A couple of weeks went by and my agency called to let me know that they noticed a request to remove Jin Jin totally from being able to be adopted. My rep. said that she then saw a paragraph in Chinese. She put it on Babblefish and read the terrible news that Jin Jin had died the day before. She called to let me know even though she wasn't sure that she should. What sadness and shock we had! I think she wanted me to know that I had gone with my gut feeling and that I had made the right decision a couple of weeks before. Still such heartbreak. I am convinced that God did hear my prayers and that he did take her to live with him. He gave her the best family possible and healed her. That is my comfort. I still think about her and love her. I will never forget her.
Jin Jin- Our baby angel.
"Future Daughter"
We all got settled into life with 4 kids. We were all happy when Scott retired from the USMC after 25 years in 2009. I had always wanted to adopt from the China Special Needs program but Scott said he was too old and finished. We all know what happened when he said he didn't like small dogs or cats don't we? Tee Hee I truly enjoy being a mother! It is the greatest joy and accomplishment of my life. All of our children are happy and healthy and enjoy school and all kinds of activities. They are kind and loving and get along "most" of the time:) That nagging feeling that we were not finished wouldn't go away. I asked God to make it go away if it wasn't meant to be. It wouldn't! I had a plastic tub in the basement that I labeled "future daughter" for the past 5 years. I put things in it that I am saving for her. For instance, I got all 5 Chinese Olympic Mascots during the Olympics and put the 5th one in the tub for her. I would constantly talk about "when we adopt our next daughter" and Scott would always respond "with your next husband". I even saved a tub of 2t and 4t dresses that I couldn't part with hoping that one day we would have a little daughter to wear them again. I actually gave them to a friend for the daughter she was in the process of adopting for Korea last year and then the day came that Scott gave the go ahead. I called her up and asked for them back! She was happy to give them back since her daughter was an infant and she was so happy that my last dream for another child would come true. What a friend! I was sitting in church one day in February 2010. The topic was human trafficking. I was in tears thinking about all the children (and adults) who are forced into that. I kept thinking about all the orphans in this world who will not have a chance after they age out of the orphanages. Scott and I talked about it and he said that we could adopt. Then we got our tax bill. That put a HUGE damper on it to begin in the Spring of 2010. I was quite depressed and not very easy to live with. I had already contacted an adoption agency and begun looking at the waiting child lists. This was all new to me since in the past, we were matched by our agency or China with our children. We could have just waited to be matched but I tortured myself for months looking on the internet at waiting children. I desperately wanted to begin our adoption so my friend (who I took the dresses back from) and I sold a lot of jewelry one day and I came up with enough to start. Then we had a couple of yard sales. I sold things on Ebay as well. I became obsessed with raising money. "Things" didn't matter anymore. I wanted to bring home a daughter who needed us and who would bless us. I continued to torture myself daily by going over waiting child lists. If you have ever done that then you know it can be very upsetting. I hoped I would see our "future daughter".
Monticello-April 2011
Monticello-April 2011
